first contact

It started in April 2001 when I got ADSL. Finally I could surf endlessly without worrying about phone bills.
Now I could do something that I had never done as long as I had to pay for every minute online: chatting. I knew this Belgian chatbox already, because I had had flatrate before. But that was still done by a dial-up method with quite a few restrictions. On this chat everyone had a nickname, and mine was:
**++ de koning ++** (the king)

Now I could really be online 24 hours a day, and I picked up my old hobby. In one of my favorite chatrooms (which no longer exists) I ran into a female chatter who called herself Bo, and whom I hadn't met before. The first thing I noticed was her happy and optimistic character, and I thought: that's the perfect chat-friend!

So I chose her company more often, even in a private room. And you guessed it: something more than just friendship began to grow. But this is not the end of the story...

One day Bo entered a room that was nearly empty, but I was there already, and she told us that she had just returned from a stroll around the forest that took a bit longer than planned, because she took a wrong turn somewhere. I asked her if her feet were hurting.
Her reply: "No, because I'm in a wheelchair :-)))"

Many people would now be less enthusiastic about a relationship. I wasn't; why should I be? As a matter of fact, the opposite happened, because someone who can see the humour in that (referring to the smiley at the end) is my kind of woman. And so the deeper feelings that were already growing (and neither of us knew that the other was feeling the same thing) kept on growing as before.

I remember very clearly what she said when I suggested that we should exchange pictures. She said that she was ugly. I said: "No, after all I know about you, I can assure you that you are beautiful (on the inside)". When I saw her picture I found her a lot of things but certainly not ugly. And today I am still trying to convince her that she is beautiful... and one day I'll succeed.

this picture was made on the day we first met
she is holding the gifts that I had brought her

how we met

One day we found out that we have hobbies that can easily be combined, and that was a reason for me to suggest a meeting. Her enthusiastic reply made me suspect that she was feeling the same thing for me as I did for her.

It was a long journey. It took me 22 hours (including a bit of sleep) to travel from Frisia (Netherlands) to Flemish Brabant (Belgium), which is 400 km and which I did in a car that goes 50 km/h (I don't have a drivers licence), but it was worth it!

To cut a long story short: I planned to visit her and stay a week, but I stayed 9 days and then I had to go back (work). When I got home I asked her to surf to the chatbox where we met the first time, and she did.

It was right there, in the presence of some chat-friends, that I asked her to marry me.
Her replay: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss :-)))))))))"

the future

Several people told me that it won't be easy to share my life with a woman who can do practically nothing (muscular disease). I am aware of that... but the reward is so immens, so incredibly big, that I wonder what kind of a problem they are trying to make. I'm going for it!!!

Before we can live together, we'll have to have a house. She is living with her parents and my house is not suitable: when entering, the first thing you encounter is a flight of stairs to the upper floor, and a very narrow passage to the ground floor. But there seem to be a few projects that enable us to live somewhere else and then get married. Now let's hope for the best... It won't be our fault if it fails!

taboo

Many people think that it is wrong to make jokes about handicaps. Please do make such jokes! We do it all the time, and as far as I know, all handicapped people do it. An example:
I needn't be afraid that she'll ever walk out on me.

the story continues

30-10-2001

On October 24, 2001 Bo had a small surgery (nothing serious) and I wanted to be with her at all cost. After she was released from the hospital, I took her to a jeweller.
Sometimes Bo wakes up in the morning and fears that this was all a dream. Now she looks at her hand and knows that the dream came true.

8-1-2002

Our first X-mas together was a great success. We spent 2 weeks in a small place of our own.
Some people were convinced that I would have second thoughts afterwards because I would feel how hard it is to take care of a woman with a muscular disease. They were right about one thing: I know how hard it is (a week afterwards my arms are still hurting from lifting her out of her chair and putting her into it). But I'm still going for it, because real love can survive that kind of misfortune.

26-1-2002

Good news!
In April 2002 we can start living together, because Bo found a house for us. At this moment I'm trying to replace my Aixam (the car that goes 50 km/h) by a Vespacar, also called Ape (just about the same speed limit). The advantage is: not only that an Aixam is stuffed full when Bo, I and her wheelchair are in it, but also: a Vespacar can be used to move all my furniture.

22-4-2002

It started in April 2001, and now a year has passed. We are living together and we're superhappy. I managed to sell my Aixam and buy a Vespacar

so I could move all my stuff myself. I'll have to go to Frisia one more time to collect the last few things, and then our fairy-tale can have the usual ending:
We lived happily ever after...

14-10-2002

We just bought a "Royal Palace". Now we can be more happy than we were in this slum that they call a house.

Our Royal Palace at the moment when we bought it

3-5-2008

Today we had the Big Happening: we were officially married!

2013

26-4-2021

BUT THE STORY CONTINUES

After a lot of failures on dating-sites and FB-groups (they didn't want me for the silliest reasons or they were after my money - I didn't fall for that but they caused a lot of emotional damage) my life changed: I'm now an amputee.

One last thing: Bo and I wrote a song that we sang on our wedding day. After Bo died I changed the lyrics. You can hear both versions here.